Third Thursday Third Things — April Edition
Spring Lessons from a Stubborn Horse
Watching the Willow
I’ve been tracking the transition from winter to spring by the willow tree at the end of my neighborhood.
One week it was lifeless.
The next week, there was an energy about it—as though it were humming—but still the branches draped gray and dull.
I left for 10 days on a dive trip in the Bahamas—which was all the time the willow needed to burst into full spring force.
When I came back, it was veiled in a lace of green buds.
Two weeks later, it is now thick with leaves, making those incredible arched walls that only willows can.
The rest of the trees haven’t quite caught up.
Yes, the apples and cherries went to bloom, along with the stinky Bradford pears.
But the cottonwoods, ashes, and sycamores are only now beginning to tease us with their first little fists of green.
The weather has been unseasonably warm—mid-80s, beating sun.
We hopped straight from the drab of a desert winter into a lively summer.
The ditch water opened two weeks early—packed with Colorado River silt—and everyone’s scrambling to get the plumber out to open their swamp coolers.
Tex Update
Even though we’re barely working, Tex finishes our short rides with a perfect sweat outline of the cinch. His saddle pad is damp and has that acrid, earthy smell of a horse that’s trying his best.
I mention Tex because life has been mainly horse-focused these last couple of weeks.
My 10 days away set Tex back a little.
He tried to buck me on a cold morning the day I got back.
Then I lost some leadership with him, trying to love on him as an apology for being gone so soon after purchasing him.
He started balking, refusing to move forward.
He would give up after about 10 minutes under saddle.
Sunday, I left the barn feeling absolutely defeated.
We couldn’t even make two laps around the arena without a pile of attitude:
Backing up.
Balking.
Head throwing.
I came home and watched hours of YouTube videos and learned pretty quickly that this was a solvable problem: Tex didn’t respect me.
Monday night, I was back at the barn after a full day spent mentally toughening up.
I told Tex as I put the rope halter around his face that I wasn’t messing around anymore. He gave me his usual dopey lip quiver, which broke my heart just a little.
We tacked up and walked into the round pen.
He looked like he normally did—sweet but disinterested.
However, when I picked up the lunge whip, I swear to you he stared at me with a face that clearly said:
Oh, shit.
I asked him to walk.
He did—slowly, reluctantly.
I asked him to trot.
He planted his feet and faced me.
I stared him down.
“Abso-fucking-lutely not,” I whispered, and raised the whip above my head.
He took a step back and started walking the circle.
I asked him to trot, but he just kept walking.
I waited two seconds, then slapped the whip into the sand behind his feet.
And what do you know—that boy hopped into a trot so fast he nearly tripped over his own feet.
We trotted one direction, then the other. We even got into a canter—something I hadn’t been able to get out of him for the last two weeks.
After it seemed like some of the attitude had worn off, I brought him to a stop, walked him over to the arena, and hopped on.
But we only made half a lap before he balked.
I backed him up until he wouldn’t back up anymore, then asked him to move forward.
He’d take a step, then try to turn back to the gate.
I’d try again. He’d back up. Turn toward the gate.
We did this for 15 minutes until he finally planted his feet and refused to budge.
I asked him to move forward nicely.
Gentle pressure from my feet. Nothing.
A firmer press.
A click.
Nothing.
A little kick of my heels.
Still nothing.
Finally, I took a deep breath and gave him a swift smack on the ass.
And what do you know—Tex moved.
He didn’t balk again the rest of the ride.
By Wednesday night, we took our first ride around the property—a baby trail ride, if you will—with no issues.
It was clear he’d been testing me.
And I’d finally come out on top.
I don’t expect the problem to be solved after just a few rides, but he’s no dummy.
My instructor says I have to keep showing him I’m the leader—even though my people-pleasing tendencies (horse-pleasing?) make me squirmy about taking charge.
It’s spring and also summer in the desert. I’m reveling in that confluence of seasons.
I love how every day at the barn, I learn something new about horses—but also something new about myself and the way I interact with the world.
It’s frustrating.
Enlightening.
Spiritual.
Maddening.
Beautiful.
—Betrayed by Trump: I’m having to work reallllllly hard not to read these with a pile of schadenfreude. Regardless, it’s very interesting to see the shifting viewpoints in America.
—Severance: There’s no way I’m going to write a more compelling review here than what the major critics have, so let’s just say you should definitely start watching this now, if you aren’t already, so we can all enjoy season four together when it (hopefully) returns next year.
—Silo: This show is just some super amazing sci-fi. But what I think makes it even cooler is that the show is based on a short story that was SELF PUBLISHED ON AMAZON (and later became a series of stories/books) which just goes to show that perhaps we don’t need traditional media/publishing to make amazing things.
—Game Changer on Dropout TV: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE JUST GET A SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS ALREADY
—12 minutes of a horse learning to get into a trailer: I know, I know, this probably seems like the most boring thing in the whole world, but I thought it was SO COOL to watch this horse mentally overcome his hesitation around getting on a trailer. You can see his frustration, the gears turning, the mental stamina to keep trying. Watching this made me realize I need to be way more patient with animals AND people AND myself. I highly recommend watching start to finish, but if you don’t have the patience for it, the last 2-3 minutes is where you see the horse learning the most.
—Music To Refine To: C’mon people, it’s a Severance album!!
—Better Now: Mostly just loving the lyrics in this which feel really applicable to my “let’s see what happens!” attitude lately
—Medieval Codicology (weird medieval manuscript art & memes and snails) with Evan Pridmore
—Museum of Now: This American Life
—The Idiot by Elif Batuman: This was one of those books that I wished went on forever because I just wanted the simple pleasure of continuing to watch the main character’s life unfold for the rest of my life.
—She Flies Without Wings: How Horses Touch a Woman's Soul by Mary D. Midkiff: Feeling very into books about horses and horsemanship right now (for obvious reasons), but this book dove into the world of high end horse racing and English eventing which is a horse world completely different from the one I am living right now (I think my discipline is technically called Western Pleasure). Even though I have absolutely no interest in that, it was still fascinating to read about the different ways people (especially women) experience horses.
OMG, this sounds like me when I used to work hard with our horses. Horses can be so danged balky. I put them in the round pen & run the heck out of them. That lets them know who is boss.