Normal Life Field Report #2

A dispatch from the wild terrain of Normal Life

Normal Life Field Report #2

Location: Shaded porch of rental townhouse, Grand Junction, Colorado
Date: June 30, 2025
Weather: Hot. Dry.
Vibes of the month: Please hesitate to reach out

June was…stressful.

It was one of those months where if one more person was incompetent or unhelpful in my presence, I was going to light my house on fire and head for a yurt in the mountains to live out the rest of my life as a hermit. It was a month of groaning at every text, work email, and inquiry in which I had to keep deleting my first response of: You absolutely need to figure this out without me, you insufferable walnut.

It was a month of looking around at the adults in the room and wondering how in god’s name they had made it this far in life when it seemed they were incapable of just about everything.

It was also a month where I was reminded, swiftly, that I can be a bit too helpful, a little too willing to problem solve, and a tad too inclined to fall into drama that isn’t mine. I’m learning people sniff out that overly helpful trait in me real fast. Before I know it, I’m solving other people’s family drama, managing interpersonal conflicts I have no business managing, and assessing three decades of workplace dysfunction after just two years on the job, all before burning out in the flames of a massive self-created dumpster fire.

In therapy speak, this is called “overfunctioning,” which according to Mental Health America is defined as: A common but often overlooked response to stress, where we step in to manage, control, or take responsibility for things that may not truly be ours to handle. When faced with challenges, people who overfunction often feel compelled to “do more” as a way of coping. You might take on more responsibilities at work, constantly offer help to others, or overextend yourself in your personal life as a way to keep everything running smoothly. Over time, this pattern not only leads to burnout but can also damage relationships by enabling others to underfunction or become overly reliant.

I spent June in full overfunction mode. And despite my best hopes that it would give me more control, I ended the month feeling completely burned out and still no closer to getting a grasp on my problems (or anyone else’s).

So a friend kindly offered me some advice in these moments when shit is absolutely hitting the fan to just “lean back.”

Projects burning down at work? Lean back. You don’t have to be the one to jump in and “fix” everything.

Drama at the barn? Lean back. If no one’s saying anything to you directly, no need to get involved.

The Trump administration is continuing to act like 16 armadillos in a trench coat? Lean back. You aren’t going to fix a whole country, you eager, but silly goose.

We’ll try not to overfunction and lean back more in July.